What is this book about?

The 7 Myths of Singleness by Sam Allberry is an incredibly insightful read that brings to light many of the negative assumptions and ideas surrounding singleness with the purpose of displaying its unique value instead. He highlights that singleness is not the absence of good things but a gift and blessing from God which can afford flourishing in both our relationship with Him and our relationships with others. Using scripture as the anchor for all of his discussions, he touches on various topics such as intimacy, family and even meaningful ministry as a single person navigating both the joys and difficulty of these.

Who is this book for?

Whether you’re single, dating or married I implore you to read this book! It is only 149 pages and I believe is appropriate for people in the upper years of high school onwards. This read should compel everyone to understand the importance of God’s design for us to be relational beings and the role, dare I say obligation, each of us have as a church to be in close relationship with each other. He underlines the crucial message from Romans 12:4-5, that each part of Christ’s body should be concerned with and belong to every other part. From this he claims “…as a single person, I have a stake in the health of the marriages in my church family. And those who are married have a stake in the health of my singleness.”

What do you get out of this read?

Allberry masterfully weaves scripture alongside his personal experiences with singleness to show that ultimately every relational ‘status’ comes with both joys and sorrows and how, with God, each can flourish and be used for His glorious purposes. He also speaks openly of his experiences with same-sex attraction and what this has looked like throughout his singleness. It is refreshing to read of his experiences as a single man in ministry and the discussions he has had with others surrounding the values of having both married couples with families and single people on the ground for God’s kingdom.

My largest takeaway from this book was a complete paradigm shift in how I thought about us as relational beings and what this means in either singleness or marriage. It helped me settle on the fact that, in a world which sells skewed ideas of love and intimacy, our ultimate and most complete experience of these occurs in our relationship with God. Yet, because we live temporarily in a broken state, the perfection of these realities is yet to be fulfilled. In each chapter as though he was reading my mind, Allberry brought forth common misconceptions and unhealthy discourses surrounding singleness and, by wielding the Bible, made my mind do a complete U-turn on its understandings of all relationships. For many struggling in the pitfalls of these untrue assumptions of singleness, he offers a new perspective entirely. One that helped me personally delight in God in a completely refreshed way and one which enabled me to see how with God I can truly enjoy any ‘relational status’ I find myself in, and use it to serve Him and the body of Christ. Knowing that in a broken world, no ‘status’ will bring perfect joy but we have the unique opportunity now to lean on God throughout them all until He returns for His people.

All in all, I do hope you give this book a read no matter your ‘status’, because it contains perspectives which pertain to everyone who experiences relationships of any kind from family and friends to partners (so yes, that’s you) and is valuable in understanding each other’s needs within Christ’s body.

Alana Holley