When I was considering becoming a foster father, people shared what the costs would be.
I was warned:
- That it would be hard: And this is true. It’s tough for both parent and child. Speaking statistically, children in foster care do it tough for their whole lives. Speaking experientially, this is worrying for the parent.
- That you can’t parent how you might want to: And this is true. Different behaviours stem from different things. It’s a constant investigation game to know what is a heart problem that needs correcting, and what behaviours come from trauma, needing compassion and care.
- That no matter how many books on parenting you read, or how many things you try, you’ll probably never feel like you’re nailing it. And that is true. It is easy to see how and where you are failing.
When I was considering becoming a foster father, I was given one encouragement. It was an encouragement that trumped all the costs and warnings.
I was encouraged:
- If you do this you will be able to bring the children that you foster specifically, and repeatedly, before our good God in prayer.
Can you see what that means? No matter what else happens and no matter how hard – when you foster a child you can bring them before the throne of God in prayer.
Our Father in Heaven hears our prayers
You can pray for them by name, over many years, about anything and everything. And you can do so confident that God is the one who can and will answer prayer.
Grasping that, everything else took a back seat, and we began fitting our car with back seats.
Of course, the above is not just true for foster fathers, but all fathers. No matter how you think you are doing, or how you think your children are ‘turning out’, the best thing you can be doing is bringing your children before the throne of God.
Commit them to our perfect Father in Heaven (Col1:9), trusting in His son Jesus Christ who is the only one who can change the eternal destination of our children (Heb 7:25), confident that the Holy Spirit brings about real change and works miracles even when things seem lost (Gal 5:22-25).
As with every part of Christian life, it is knowing the goodness of God’s character and His power to act that lifts the burdens, and enables us to give everything a crack without falling into pride or despair. What a good father.
11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:11
Mitch Walker
Community Pastor | 9:45am
Learn more about Fostering via Anglicare’s ‘Foster Circle’ initiative:
As we show gratitude and love to our earthly fathers this Father’s Day, we also wish to uphold in prayer those families for whom this can be a difficult time of year, not least due to the effect of sin in our broken world. In the book of James, our Heavenly Father calls us to protect the vulnerable by looking after orphans and widows in their distress. One way we can put this verse into action is by partnering with vulnerable children in foster care. In partnership with Figtree Anglican Church, we are hosting an event in late October to explore what the Bible says about Foster Care, as well as sharing opportunities for practical, caring opportunities to support foster care families in our church and community. Mitch and his wife Skye will also be sharing some of their own experiences with fostering on the night, and helping us think through how to love and partner well.
